100 Scenario-Based Safety Responses
What to do, step by step, in 100 real-world stalking situations — organized across 20 categories.
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01 Being Followed in Public
Someone follows you on foot for several blocks
- Go into an open business and tell staff: “I'm being followed, call 911.” Stay near people until help arrives.
- Note the person's description and direction of travel while you wait.
A car follows you at the same speed through multiple turns
- Do not drive home. Drive straight to a police or fire station.
- Call 911 with your location and the plate number if you can see it.
The same unfamiliar person keeps appearing at your gym, cafe, or commute stop
- Vary your routine and travel times for the next several days.
- Photograph the person from a safe distance and log each sighting with date and time.
A stranger starts a conversation, then later shows up somewhere else you go
- Keep any interaction brief; avoid confirming your schedule or address.
- Tell a coworker or friend about the pattern so someone else knows.
Someone stands outside your home or workplace and stares without approaching
- Do not go outside alone. Call building security or 911 depending on location.
- Photograph or video from indoors only if it is safe to do so.
02 Unwanted Calls, Texts & Voicemails
You get dozens of calls or texts in one day from the same number
- Send one written message stating contact is unwanted, then stop replying entirely.
- Screenshot every message with the date and time visible before you block.
Calls continue from blocked or unknown numbers after you block the main one
- Turn on Do Not Disturb with an allow-list for people you trust.
- Ask your carrier about call-blocking tools or changing your number.
A voicemail contains a direct or implied threat
- Do not delete it. Call police the same day and ask to file a report.
- Back up the voicemail file to your own email or cloud storage.
The person emails your workplace or relatives after you stop responding
- Notify your employer's HR or security team and forward the message.
- Ask family members not to reply and to save any messages they receive.
You receive unwanted gifts, flowers, or packages at home or work
- Do not open or discard them; photograph the item and shipping label first.
- Contact the retailer or courier to report it and block further orders.
04 Ex-Partner Stalking
Your ex keeps showing up at places tied to your new routine
- Adjust your routine where you can, and tell people at those places what's happening.
- Start a dated incident log from the very first occurrence.
Your ex threatens to harm you, themselves, or someone else if you don't respond
- Take every threat seriously; call 911 if it signals immediate danger.
- Save the message and contact a domestic violence advocate about a protective order.
Your ex uses children, friends, or family to relay messages to you
- Set a clear boundary with go-betweens about not passing messages along.
- Route any necessary child-related contact through a monitored co-parenting app.
Your ex contacts your new partner or appears when you're together
- Tell your new partner the full situation so they aren't caught off guard.
- Document each contact, including anyone who witnessed it.
Your ex contacts or approaches you in violation of a protective order
- Call police immediately to report the violation; do not handle it yourself.
- Keep a copy of the order with you, in your car, and at work.
05 Workplace Stalking
A coworker or client keeps showing up at your desk or waits by your car
- Report the pattern to HR or a supervisor in writing, with specific dates.
- Ask about a schedule change, an escort to your car, or badge-access limits.
Unwanted messages arrive through work email or a company chat app
- Forward the messages to HR and IT without deleting the originals.
- Ask IT whether the sender's access can be restricted or logged.
A stalker shows up at your workplace after being told to stay away
- Alert security or reception immediately and have them call police if needed.
- Share a photo of the person with your team and front desk in advance.
You're assigned to travel or work alone with someone you're afraid of
- Request a schedule or assignment change through HR, citing safety concerns.
- Loop in a manager you trust so you aren't handling it alone.
The stalker contacts your employer to make false complaints about you
- Ask HR to document the contact and every complaint detail in writing.
- Provide your own written account and evidence of the wider pattern.
06 School & Campus Stalking
A classmate waits outside your classes or dorm on a regular basis
- Report the pattern to campus security or your Title IX office.
- Ask about a no-contact order between you and the other student.
Someone follows you across campus after dark
- Use a campus safety escort or rideshare instead of walking alone.
- Call campus police from any emergency call box on campus.
A student contacts your professors or roommates asking about your schedule
- Ask professors and roommates not to share your schedule or location.
- Ask the registrar or housing office about a privacy hold on your records.
Unwanted messages arrive through a school email or learning platform
- Screenshot and report them to IT and the dean of students' office.
- Ask whether the platform can block or restrict messages from that user.
A stalker shows up at your dorm room door
- Do not open the door; call campus police or 911 right away.
- Ask your resident advisor about a room change or extra door security.
08 Stranger or Fixated Stalking
A stranger fixates on you after one brief interaction, like a delivery or service call
- Avoid confirming personal details such as your schedule or address to people you don't know well.
- Log any follow-up contact attempts with dates and a description.
A stranger insists you're in a relationship with them that doesn't exist
- Don't argue the belief away in person; disengage and involve police for guidance.
- Save any letters, gifts, or messages as evidence of the pattern.
Someone keeps appearing at places you regularly visit, like a park or place of worship
- Alert staff or leadership there so they can watch for the person.
- Change your usual times for attending for a while, if you can.
A stranger tries to get your contact information through people you know
- Ask mutual contacts not to share your information going forward.
- Review privacy settings on any public profiles or directories.
A fixated stranger shows up at your home after finding your address
- Don't answer the door; call 911 and move to a locked interior room.
- Look into how your address was found and consider a data-broker removal request.
09 Stalking Involving Your Children
A stalker approaches or contacts your child directly
- Tell your child's school or caregivers immediately, with a photo if you have one.
- Report the contact to police — this often raises a case's urgency.
The stalker asks your child questions about your schedule or home
- Coach your child, age-appropriately, to say “I don't know” and tell an adult right away.
- Update your child's school pickup-authorization list to exclude the stalker.
A co-parent uses custody exchanges to prolong contact or monitor you
- Use a public, well-lit exchange location, ideally a police station lobby.
- Ask the court about a neutral, third-party exchange service.
The stalker threatens to take or harm your children
- Treat this as an emergency — call 911 and notify the school immediately.
- Contact a family law attorney or advocate about emergency custody protections.
Your child gets messages or friend requests from the stalker's accounts
- Block and report the accounts, saving copies of the messages first.
- Review your child's privacy settings and limit posts revealing your routine.
10 Neighbor Stalking
A neighbor watches your home or photographs you from their property
- Install a visible doorbell camera and note when you notice this happening.
- Contact non-emergency police early to document the pattern.
A neighbor keeps finding reasons to approach or detain you outside
- Keep it brief; state clearly you don't want to talk and go back inside.
- Ask your property manager or HOA about mediation or a formal complaint.
A neighbor enters your yard, porch, or building hallway without permission
- Treat this as trespassing; call police, especially if it happens again.
- Improve exterior lighting and locks, and consider a camera at entry points.
A neighbor repeatedly files false complaints against you
- Keep your own written record of events and any official responses.
- Ask your landlord to document the pattern in your file.
A neighbor confronts you aggressively or blocks your path
- Don't engage; get to a safe indoor spot and call 911 if you feel threatened.
- Ask police about a restraining or protective order if it continues.
11 Online Dating & Met-Online Stalking
A match gets upset when you end contact and messages you on multiple apps
- Block and report them on every platform where they reach you.
- You don't owe an explanation — a clear stop is enough on its own.
Someone you met online shows up at a place you only mentioned in a private chat
- Leave the area for somewhere public and staffed right away.
- Review what details you've shared in chats and tighten them going forward.
Someone pieces together your workplace or home from small details you mentioned
- Avoid confirming their guesses; change the subject or end contact.
- Search your own name to see what's easy to find publicly.
A former match creates new profiles to keep messaging after being blocked
- Report each new profile through the platform's safety tools.
- Keep screenshots that show the pattern of repeated new accounts.
An online contact threatens to share private photos or messages unless you respond
- Do not comply — this is a form of extortion and a crime.
- Report it to the platform and police, and preserve the threatening messages.
12 Doxxing & Exposed Personal Info
You find your home address listed on a people-search or data-broker site
- Submit a removal request to that site and to major data brokers.
- Use a data-broker removal service to track requests across many sites at once.
Someone posts your address with language encouraging others to visit or contact you
- Report it as doxxing or a coordinated harassment risk immediately.
- Contact police — this can support both a stalking and a harassment charge.
Your phone number is shared in an online group or forum
- Change your number if possible, or use a call-screening app meanwhile.
- Report the post to the forum's moderators and request its removal.
Old photos or personal details resurface on a new site or blog post
- Request removal directly from the site, citing harassment where relevant.
- Search your own name periodically and set an alert for new mentions.
Private or intimate images are shared without your consent
- Report it under the platform's non-consensual imagery policy for fast removal.
- Contact police — sharing intimate images without consent is a crime in most states.
13 Escalating Threats
A message hints at harm without stating it outright, like “you'll be sorry”
- Save the message exactly as received, with the sender clearly visible.
- Report it to police even if you're unsure it formally “counts” as a threat.
A threat names a specific time, place, or method of harm
- Call 911 immediately — this is treated as a high-risk warning sign.
- Warn anyone else named or nearby so they can also take precautions.
Threats increase around a triggering date, like a court date or anniversary
- Alert your safety network and advocate ahead of known trigger dates.
- Review and refresh your safety plan before those dates arrive.
The person shows or mentions having access to a weapon
- Treat this as an emergency; call 911 and avoid being alone.
- Tell police about the weapon specifically — it changes how a case is handled.
A threat is made to a friend or family member instead of to you directly
- Have that person save the message and consider filing their own report.
- Combine both records when you report the pattern; it strengthens the case.
14 Protective Order Violations
The person named in your protective order contacts you by call or text
- Do not respond; call police to report the violation right away.
- Save the message as evidence before deleting anything.
The person shows up somewhere the order requires them to stay away from
- Leave the area if it's safe, and call 911 immediately.
- Note the exact time, distance, and any witnesses present.
A protected contact channel, like a co-parenting app, is used to send off-topic or harassing messages
- Report the misuse to your attorney or the court that issued the order.
- Keep using only the approved channel, and log any off-channel attempts.
Someone else delivers a message on the restrained person's behalf
- Treat it as an attempted violation and report it to police or your attorney.
- Ask the go-between directly to stop relaying any further messages.
The person damages your property or harms a pet in violation of the order
- Call police immediately; don't clean up the scene before it's documented.
- Photograph everything and request a copy of the report for court.
15 Stalker Shows Up at Your Home
Someone is at your door you didn't invite
- Don't open it; verify who it is through a peephole or camera first.
- Call 911 if it's the person stalking you or anyone acting suspiciously.
You notice signs someone has been near your home, like moved items or footprints
- Photograph what you find and avoid touching anything that could be evidence.
- Add a security camera and motion lighting at entry points.
The stalker attempts to enter your home
- Get to a locked room, call 911, and stay on the line until help arrives.
- Keep a practiced escape route and a packed go-bag ready ahead of time.
The stalker leaves notes or items at your doorstep
- Photograph items in place before moving them, and save any notes as evidence.
- Report the pattern to police even without a direct threat included.
A delivery or rideshare app reveals your address to someone on a shared account
- Use a P.O. box or workplace address for deliveries where you can.
- Review saved addresses in shopping and rideshare apps tied to shared logins.
16 Stalking by Extended Family or In-Laws
A relative monitors and reports your activities to someone you're avoiding
- Set a clear boundary about what you will and won't share with them.
- Limit invitations to family events where contact would be unavoidable.
An in-law shows up uninvited after a separation or divorce
- Put your boundary in writing so there's a clear record of what you asked.
- Involve your attorney if the contact ties into a custody or divorce case.
A family member threatens you on behalf of someone else
- Treat it as seriously as a direct threat and call 911 if it feels urgent.
- Document the relationship and message — it may show coordinated conduct.
Relatives keep sharing your new address or number after you've asked them not to
- Explain clearly, in writing, why this puts your safety at risk.
- Limit what personal information you share with relatives who can't keep it private.
A family gathering becomes an opportunity to corner or pressure you
- Bring a support person and plan an early exit ahead of time.
- Tell the host your boundaries before the event, not during it.
17 Contact Through Mutual Friends or Community
A mutual friend keeps forwarding messages “just in case you want to know”
- Ask them directly and firmly to stop relaying any messages at all.
- Explain that forwarding messages can help sustain the stalker's contact.
A community or religious leader is asked to help “reconcile” you with the stalker
- Decline any mediation with someone whose contact frightens you.
- Explain the safety concern to the leader privately, without needing to justify it.
A friend group pressures you to reply because the stalker “just wants closure”
- You don't owe a response — prioritize your safety over others' comfort.
- Share a hotline number with friends so they understand the real risk.
The stalker attends events they know you'll be at, through mutual connections
- Ask the host in advance for a heads-up or a guest-list check.
- Have an exit plan and a friend who knows to leave with you if needed.
Someone in your community shares your schedule without realizing the risk
- Explain plainly why the information is sensitive, without over-explaining.
- Limit how far in advance you share plans publicly.
18 Stalking of Older Adults
An older adult gets repeated unwanted visits from a former caregiver or acquaintance
- Loop in a trusted family member or facility staff to help monitor visits.
- Update the approved-visitor list at any care facility or front desk.
Someone pressures an older adult for money alongside unwanted contact
- Treat this as possible financial exploitation and contact adult protective services.
- Ask a trusted family member to help monitor or freeze accounts if appropriate.
An older adult is afraid to report stalking for fear of losing independence
- Reassure them that reporting doesn't automatically mean losing autonomy.
- Offer to go with them to file a report or call an advocate together.
A stalker contacts an older adult's caregivers or doctors to gather information
- Ask care providers to confirm any information requests directly with family.
- Add a note to medical and care records restricting information release.
An older stalking victim seems confused about who is safe to trust
- Involve a social worker or adult protective services promptly for support.
- Avoid confronting them directly; focus on connecting them with help.
19 Stalking After You've Moved or Changed Numbers
The stalker finds your new phone number soon after you change it
- Check which accounts and apps still list your old number and update them.
- Ask your carrier about extra privacy protections for the new line.
The stalker shows up at your new address within days of moving
- Treat this as a serious escalation and contact police and an advocate right away.
- Review how the address may have leaked, including mail and delivery accounts.
Mail is still being forwarded in a way that could reveal your new address
- Set up a P.O. box for a transition period instead of home delivery.
- Contact USPS directly rather than relying on automatic forwarding for sensitive mail.
Your new employer or landlord is contacted by someone claiming to check references
- Warn your employer or landlord about the situation in advance.
- Ask them to confirm any information requests with you before responding.
You're worried public records, like a new lease, reveal your address
- Ask about an address confidentiality program offered in many states.
- Use a safe mailing address, like an advocate's office, on forms that allow it.
20 Supporting Someone Else Who's Being Stalked
A friend tells you they're being stalked but downplays it
- Take it seriously anyway, and gently share resources like a hotline number.
- Avoid pressuring a specific action — support their pace and their choices.
You're asked to hold onto evidence or be a witness for someone else's case
- Keep anything you're given exactly as received, noting when and how you got it.
- Be ready to describe what you saw or heard factually if police ask.
You witness a stalker approaching or threatening someone in person
- Call 911 if it looks dangerous rather than stepping in physically.
- Note a description, vehicle, and direction of travel for police.
A coworker or relative asks you to relay messages from a stalker to their victim
- Decline, and explain that relaying messages can help sustain the stalker's contact.
- Encourage direct contact with police or an advocate instead.
Someone you know seems to be isolating out of fear of a stalker
- Stay consistently in touch with small check-ins rather than waiting to be contacted.
- Offer specific help, like going with them to file a report, instead of open-ended offers.
This guide offers general safety information for educational purposes and is not legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship and is not a substitute for guidance from a licensed attorney, victim advocate, or law enforcement. Stalking laws and available protections vary by state.
Disclaimer
The information on Stalking.org is provided for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not legal advice, medical advice, or mental-health advice, and it does not create an attorney-client or other professional relationship. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 (United States) or your local emergency number — Stalking.org is not a crisis hotline. Laws and platform policies change frequently, so always consult a qualified attorney, law enforcement officer, or licensed professional about your specific situation.
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