Stalking Support Groups and Safe Ways to Find Support

Why Support Helps

People who have been stalked often describe feeling disbelieved, ashamed, and constantly on guard. Support can help in several ways.

• It reduces isolation. Hearing that others have faced the same thing can be a relief.
• It normalizes your reactions. Anxiety, trouble sleeping, and hypervigilance are common responses.
• It offers practical ideas. Members may share what worked when they documented, reported, or navigated court.
• It provides accountability and encouragement. A group can help you keep going with the steps you've chosen.

Support is not a substitute for safety planning or professional help, but it can be an important part of recovery. Read coping after being stalked.

Types of Support You Can Find

• In-person peer groups, where people meet regularly to share experiences.
• Therapy groups, led by a licensed clinician, that focus on trauma and recovery.
• Individual counseling, which can be a better fit if you aren't ready for a group or need more privacy.
• Online forums and chat communities, which are available at any hour but vary widely in safety.
• Informal support, such as trusted friends, family, or faith community.

No single type is best. Many people use more than one.

How to Find a Group Safely

You can ask the following sources about local groups.

• Your local victim services program, such as a prosecutor's victim-witness unit or police victim advocate. The Office for Victims of Crime directory can help you find programs in your state.
• Your doctor or a community mental health center. Use FindTreatment.gov to locate providers.
• Your employer's employee assistance program, if you have one, which may offer counseling at no cost.
• Campus counseling centers, if you are a student.
• Hospital and clinic social workers, who often know local resources.

Ask each program whether stalking victims are welcome, who leads the group, whether it is confidential, and whether it is free.

The Risks of Online Forums and Chats

Online communities can be a lifeline at 3 a.m., and they can also be risky. Be aware of the following.

• Anonymous people can be anyone. A stalker, impersonator, or troll may join to watch or to cause harm.
• Details can be pieced together. Small facts you share across posts can reveal who you are or where you live.
• Advice may be wrong or dangerous. Not everyone is qualified, and what worked for one person may not be safe for you.
• Some spaces amplify fear. Communities that tell you shadowy groups are coordinating against you can deepen distress. If that sounds familiar, read gang stalking reports and consider talking to a clinician.
• Moderation varies. A group without clear rules and active moderators is more likely to attract harmful behavior.

How to Participate Safely

• Use a pseudonym and an email address that isn't linked to your real name.
• Don't share identifying details, such as your city, workplace, school, vehicle, or the stalker's name.
• Don't post screenshots that show your username or location.
• Use a safe device, and log out when you are finished.
• Don't send money or personal documents to anyone you meet online.
• Trust your instincts. If a conversation feels off, leave.

Warning Signs of a Bad Group

• Leaders promise they can stop the stalker or "expose" them.
• Members are pressured to share details or documents.
• The group encourages revenge, harassment, or vigilante action.
• Anyone who disagrees is attacked or removed.
• The group sells expensive products or services as the answer.
• Your anxiety consistently gets worse after participating.

A good group feels respectful and steady, even when the topics are hard.

If a Group Isn't Right for You

You don't have to join one. Individual counseling, trusted friends, and your own writing can all help. If you are struggling, call or text 988, and tell your doctor about how stalking has affected your sleep, mood, and daily life.

What Happens in a Typical Support Group

If you've never attended one, a group can seem intimidating. Formats vary, but many follow a similar pattern.

• Introductions. Members may share a first name or a nickname, and you are never required to explain your story.
• Ground rules. Groups usually set rules about confidentiality, respect, and not giving advice that sounds like orders.
• Sharing and listening. People talk about what they have experienced and how they are coping. You can listen without speaking.
• Coping skills. Some groups, especially those led by clinicians, teach skills for managing anxiety, sleep problems, and intrusive thoughts.
• Closing. The group often ends with a check-in or a reminder of resources.

Most people find that the first session is the hardest. It is fine to attend once just to see how it feels and decide later.

Questions to Ask Before You Join

A good group will welcome questions. Ask the following.

• Who leads the group, and what training do they have?
• Is the group specifically for stalking victims, or for a broader set of experiences?
• Is it confidential, and what are the limits?
• Is it open to anyone, or do members screen in?
• Where does it meet, and is the location kept private?
• How long does it run, and is there a cost?
• What happens if someone is in crisis during a session?
• Can I attend a session before I commit?

If a group won't answer these questions, look elsewhere.

Support for Friends and Family

People who love someone who is being stalked need support too. They may feel helpless, angry, or afraid, and they may not know how to help.

• Learn what stalking is and isn't. Reading what is stalking and stalking myths and facts can correct common misconceptions.
• Offer practical help, such as sitting with the person while they save evidence or going with them to report.
• Avoid confronting the stalker, which can escalate the situation.
• Respect their choices about what and when to report.
• Protect their information, and don't share their location or plans.
• Look after yourself. Counselors, your own doctor, and trusted friends can help you cope.

Our article on how to get help for online stalking includes a section on helping someone else.

Keeping Your Safety Plan in Mind When You Join a Group

A group can be a wonderful support, and it can also create exposure if you aren't careful.

• Think about the location. If a stalker knows your routine, a regular meeting could become a place where they find you. Vary your route and tell a trusted person when you attend.
• Protect your information. Don't share your address, workplace, or the stalker's identifying details.
• Plan your arrival and departure. Arrive when others do, and consider asking someone to walk with you.
• Keep your phone charged and your code word ready.
• Tell the group leader about safety concerns, so they can help.

Add these steps to your safety plan, and use the Protection Guide for scenarios involving public places.

A Few Words on Pace and Expectations

Support is not a race, and you don't have to feel better on a schedule. Some people leave their first meeting feeling lighter, and others feel shaken and need time. Both reactions are normal. If you attend a group, give yourself permission to sit quietly, to leave early, or to try a different group later. What matters is that you find a setting where you feel respected and safer, not that you stay in one that isn't working.

Support should make you feel less alone and more able to act. If it doesn't, find another kind.

Sources and further reading

• FindTreatment.gov (SAMHSA)
• SAMHSA: In Crisis? Find Help Now (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
• Help in Your State (Office for Victims of Crime)