Stalking Myths and Facts: 12 Things People Get Wrong
Important: This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not legal, medical, or professional advice. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 (United States) or your local emergency number.
Quick answer
Common stalking myths include that stalkers are strangers (nearly 7 in 10 victims know them), that only women are stalked (about 1 in 10 men are), that stalking is harmless without threats, and that blocking will stop it. In fact, stalking is a crime in all 50 states and under federal law, and it is dangerous and potentially lethal.
Myths About Who Stalks and Who Is Stalked
Myth 1: Stalkers are strangers. Fact: Nearly 7 in 10 victims know their stalker in some capacity (BJS). Former partners are especially common.
Myth 2: Only women are stalked. Fact: The CDC found about 1 in 10 men, as well as more than 1 in 5 women, are stalked in their lifetimes (CDC).
Myth 3: Only celebrities get stalked. Fact: About 3.4 million U.S. residents age 16 or older were stalked in 2019 (BJS). Most were ordinary people.
Myth 4: Stalking only happens after a breakup. Fact: Many cases involve former partners, but stalkers can also be coworkers, classmates, neighbors, acquaintances, or strangers.
Myths About What Stalking Is
Myth 5: Stalking is just persistent flirting or a sign of love. Fact: Stalking is a pattern of unwanted behavior that causes fear. The attention is not flattering to the person receiving it. Read what stalking is.
Myth 6: Stalking has to be in person. Fact: Stalking can happen through calls, texts, social media, spyware, and trackers. See can calls, texts, and emails be stalking?
Myth 7: One incident is stalking. Fact: Laws generally require a pattern, called a course of conduct. A single message may be harassment or nothing at all.
Verify your evidence with the Evidence Auditor →A four-point checklist that confirms your screenshots are 'court ready'.Myths About Danger
Myth 8: If there are no threats, there's no danger. Fact: Stalking itself is a risk factor. The Office of Justice Programs calls it dangerous and potentially lethal, and stalkers can escalate without warning. Read do stalkers become violent.
Myth 9: Stalkers are obviously disturbed. Fact: Stalkers don't fit a single profile. Many appear charming and normal to others.
Myths About Getting Help
Myth 10: Blocking the stalker will end it. Fact: Blocking can stop direct contact, but many stalkers create new accounts or use other people. Log the behavior before you block. See how to block an abuser online.
Myth 11: Police can't do anything until someone is hurt. Fact: Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and under federal law, so you can report a pattern of behavior before any physical harm. Many people don't report: only 29% of victims did in 2019. Learn how to report stalking.
Myth 12: If I ignore it, it will go away. Fact: Some stalking fades, but much of it doesn't. Responding clearly, documenting the pattern, and building a safety plan are better than hoping.
What to Do Instead
- Believe your own judgment about what feels unsafe.
- Document each incident and save evidence.
- Tell someone you trust.
- Report when you are ready, and call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
Why Myths About Stalking Matter
These misconceptions have real consequences. Victims who believe "it's just my ex" or "he hasn't threatened me" may delay reporting for months. Friends who believe the myths may say "just ignore it," which leaves the victim isolated. And officers or judges who hold them may under-respond to a pattern that deserves attention.
Correcting the myths helps everyone respond sooner and more effectively. To see how the pattern looks in real life, read the experiences shared on our Survivor Stories page, and use our Understanding Stalking Guide to learn the legal and behavioral basics.
Where to Learn More
If one of these myths sounded familiar, you are not alone. Read our guide on understanding stalking laws and browse the latest summaries on our Facts & Research page.
Myth: "If It Were Serious, There Would Be a Threat"
Many people assume that real danger always comes with an explicit threat. In the National Violence Against Women Survey (1995-96), stalkers made overt threats to about 45 percent of victims (NIJ). That means a large share of victims were not overtly threatened, and many still felt afraid because of the pattern itself: the following, the showing up, the sense of being watched. Fear that arises from a pattern is real fear, and the law recognizes it.
Myth: "A Protective Order Will Stop It"
Orders matter, and they are not magic. In the same survey, 80 percent of restraining orders were violated by the stalker. That does not mean orders are pointless: violations are crimes, create a record, and give police a clear basis to act. It does mean an order should be one layer of protection alongside a safety plan, documentation, and trusted people who know what to do. Read protection against stalking.
Myth: "Police Never Help"
Experiences with police vary widely. In the 1995-96 survey, about half of victims who reported were satisfied with the police response, victims rated courts a bit higher, and about 15 percent of victims said police involvement was why the stalking stopped. Those numbers are mixed, and they show that reporting can matter. If an officer dismisses you, ask for a supervisor and a report number, and contact the prosecutor's victim-witness unit. See how to report stalking.
Myth: "Stalking Is Just an Online Problem Now"
Technology is part of many cases, but in-person stalking has not disappeared. In BJS's 2019 data, victims who experienced both in-person stalking and stalking with technology made up an important group, and 67 percent of them feared being killed or physically harmed (BJS). Treat online and offline behavior as one pattern, and report both together.
Myth: "It's a Compliment"
Persistent attention that ignores your wishes is not flattery. It removes your choice, and it often causes fear and disruption. Movies sometimes present relentless pursuit as romance, which can make real victims doubt themselves. Persistence after a clear "no" is a warning sign, not a compliment.
A Quick Fact-Check Habit
When you see a claim about stalking, ask three questions: Who produced the number? What year and population does it cover? Can I find the original report? Government sources like the Bureau of Justice Statistics and the CDC publish their methods, which makes their figures easier to check. Our statistics guide links to the originals.
Myths About Men, Older Adults, and Young People
- "Men can't be stalked." The CDC found that about 1 in 10 men have been stalked in their lifetimes, and the BJS rate for men in 2019 was 0.8 percent. Men are less likely to name it or report it, which makes the problem look smaller than it is.
- "Older adults aren't stalked." BJS's 2006 data show rates falling with age, with 0.3 percent of people 65 and older stalked in the survey year, but that is still a real number of people, and stalking can overlap with scams and exploitation. See elder abuse warning signs.
- "Young people are just being dramatic." The same data show the highest rates among people ages 18 to 24. Persistent unwanted contact among teens and young adults deserves the same attention as anywhere else.
Myth: "Blocking Solves It"
Blocking can reduce the flow of messages, and it rarely ends a determined pattern. People often move to new accounts, new numbers, or other people. Document before you block, report new accounts, and combine blocking with a safety plan. Read how to block an abuser online.
Myth: "Reporting Will Only Make It Worse"
This fear is understandable. Some stalkers do react to being reported, which is why planning matters, and silence rarely ends a pattern. Document, build a safety plan, tell trusted people, and time the steps with care. Read how to stop a stalker.
Myths are comforting because they make stalking seem rare, obvious, and easy to stop. The facts are less comfortable, and more useful.Generate and print your Safety Plan →Turn four answers into a discreet, printable emergency action plan.
Sources and further reading
Frequently asked questions
What is the biggest myth about stalking?
That stalkers are strangers. Nearly 7 in 10 victims know their stalker, and many are stalked by a current or former partner.
Is stalking a real crime?
Yes. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states and at the federal level.
Can men be stalked?
Yes. About 1 in 10 men are stalked in their lifetimes, according to the CDC.
Does blocking a stalker work?
It can stop direct contact but often isn't enough. Many stalkers create new accounts or use other people. Document the behavior before blocking.
Do I need proof of a threat to report stalking?
No. A pattern of unwanted behavior that causes fear can be reported even without an explicit threat.
Is stalking really that common?
Yes. BJS estimated that about 1.3 percent of people age 16 or older, or 3.4 million people, were stalked in 2019, and the CDC found that more than 1 in 5 women and about 1 in 10 men are stalked in their lifetimes.