Stalking Behavior Checklist: Signs Someone May Be Stalking You

How to Use This Checklist

Read each group and mark any behavior that has happened more than once, or that has happened once and frightened you. Note approximate dates. A single checked box doesn't prove stalking, and a box left unchecked doesn't prove it isn't. The question to ask is whether there is a pattern of unwanted behavior directed at you that causes fear or serious distress.

Keep your marked checklist with your records and use it to start a stalking log.

Group 1: Unwanted Contact

• Repeated phone calls, including hang-ups or calls at odd hours.
• Repeated text messages after you asked for no contact.
• Repeated emails, direct messages, or comments.
• Messages from new numbers or accounts after you blocked the person.
• Voicemails that are hostile, pleading, or threatening.
• Letters, cards, or notes.
• Contact that increases when you ignore it.

The CDC's survey lists unwanted phone calls and unwanted texts, photos, and emails, including through social media, among stalking tactics (CDC report).

Group 2: Showing Up and Following

• The person appears at your home, work, school, or gym without a reason.
• You see the person often in places where they have no reason to be.
• The person waits outside your home or workplace.
• You've been followed on foot or by vehicle.
• The person approaches you in public after you asked to be left alone.
• The person turns up at events you didn't tell them about.

BJS found that following and watching were among the most commonly reported in-person behaviors (Stalking Victimization, 2019).

Group 3: Watching and Monitoring

• The person knows where you've been, who you were with, or what you bought.
• Your accounts show logins you didn't make.
• You've found a tracker or tracking app you didn't install.
• Your phone behaves oddly, or someone knows what you typed or said privately.
• The person comments on photos or posts within moments, repeatedly.
• The person watches your home or your car.

See electronic stalking and stalker alerts.

Group 4: Gifts, Items, and Property

• Unwanted gifts, flowers, cards, or items.
• Strange items left at your home, car, or workplace.
• Damage to your property or belongings.
• Signs that someone has entered your home or car.
• Packages or deliveries you didn't order.
• Items moved or missing.

Group 5: Through Other People

• Friends, family, or coworkers contact you for the person.
• People ask about your location, plans, or relationships.
• Someone you don't know contacts you with scripted messages.
• The person contacts your employer, landlord, or school about you.
• False reports are made about you.

Read stalking by proxy.

Group 6: Online Behavior

• Fake or lookalike accounts that mimic or impersonate you.
• Posts about you, including private information or photos.
• Your address, phone number, or workplace published online.
• Repeated tagging or mentioning you after you've asked them to stop.
• Messages from multiple accounts that seem to be the same person.

See what is doxxing and stalking websites.

Group 7: Threats and Intimidation

• Threats to hurt you, your family, your pets, or themselves.
• Veiled threats, such as "I know where you live."
• Showing you that they are watching, such as describing your day.
• Displays of weapons or references to violence.
• Statements that you'll "regret" leaving or reporting.

Read stalking threats explained. If you've been threatened, call 911 if you are in danger and report.

Group 8: Signs of Escalation

• The behavior is more frequent than before.
• The person uses more methods, such as in-person plus online.
• The person involves more people.
• Contact increased after you set a boundary or took a legal step.
• The person has access to weapons.
• You feel more afraid than you did a month ago.

Read do stalkers become violent.

So Which of These May Be an Indicator of Stalking?

If you're answering a question like "Which of the following may be an indicator of stalking?", the answer is generally all of them. Each behavior in this checklist can be part of a stalking pattern when it is repeated, unwanted, and directed at one person.

What to Do With Your Results

• If several boxes are checked, treat it seriously, even if each incident seems small.
• Start a log and save evidence with dates. Use the Evidence Auditor.
• Tell someone you trust.
• Make a safety plan. Use the Safety Plan tool.
• Consider reporting. Read how to report stalking. Stalking is a crime in all 50 states.
• Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.

A Checklist for Friends and Family

If you're worried about someone else, watch for changes: they avoid places or people, stop posting online, seem jumpy, change their routine, or mention a person who "won't leave them alone." Ask gently, listen, and don't confront the person. Read stalking myths and facts to avoid common missteps.

How to Interpret Your Checklist

This checklist is not scored, and there is no magic number. Instead, look at it in three ways.

• Breadth. How many groups have at least one check? Behavior that spans several groups, such as contact, following, and monitoring, suggests a more persistent pattern.
• Repetition. Have the behaviors happened more than once, and over how long a period? A pattern over weeks or months is more significant than a one-time event.
• Impact. Are you changing your routines, avoiding places, losing sleep, or feeling afraid? The effect on you matters as much as the behavior itself.

If you see breadth, repetition, and impact together, take it seriously and begin documenting. If you're unsure, that is a reason to keep a log, not a reason to dismiss your concerns.

Why Patterns Matter More Than Single Items

Many of these behaviors, taken alone, have innocent explanations. A person might call once, send a gift, or show up at an event. The law and your own safety instincts focus on the pattern: repeated, unwanted, targeted conduct that causes fear. A person who is told to stop and doesn't, who uses new methods after being blocked, or whose behavior escalates after a boundary is showing a pattern, whatever the individual acts look like. See course of conduct in stalking.

An Illustrative Example

The following is a made-up example. A man ends a casual relationship. Over three weeks, his former partner texts him dozens of times, then sends messages from new numbers after he blocks her. She shows up at his gym twice, leaves a note on his car, and sends a message to his brother asking where he'll be on the weekend. On their own, each item might seem small. Together they span unwanted contact, showing up, items left, and contact through others, and they escalate when he blocks her. A checklist helps him see that. He starts a log, saves the messages, and reports.

Men and women can both be stalked, and it can be harder for victims who think their experience "doesn't count." See are most stalkers men?

A Version for Employers and Schools

Employers and schools can adapt this checklist to recognize when a staff member or student may be being stalked. Look for signs such as frequent unexplained calls to the office, visitors asking for the person, requests for their schedule, sudden changes in behavior or attendance, and distress after checking messages. Respond by asking privately whether they're safe, offering flexible arrangements, limiting information shared about their schedule, and documenting any incidents on your premises. The Protection Guide covers workplace and campus scenarios.

You don't need to tick every box. You only need to notice that a pattern exists.

Sources and further reading

• CDC: NISVS 2023/2024 Stalking Data Brief (Sept. 2025)
• Stalking Victimization, 2019 (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
• Stalking (Office of Justice Programs)